Defying the bullies

I would run home from school. Hide away when I was at home. I was scared to go outside. I was afraid to walk to and from school knowing I would likely bump into them.

The bullies took over my life. I was skipping school. I was keeping myself to myself and shying away from my friends. They had no clue. They didn’t know what I was going through.

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From reception to college

It felt like it never stopped. From the injury in reception class I told you about in my last post (you can read about it here) to the fear of wearing shorts during PE and any out of school sports clubs I was part of, because I knew being super skinny was seen as a reason to target me.

I was so glad when I left education. I couldn’t cope. The bullying dissolved whatever soul I had left and turned me into someone I didn’t like. I was a smiley child. I was someone who loved being with others, but the fear of being seen by anyone I knew would bully me, ruined my life. It ruined my childhood.

The more and more I was attending school, the worse the bullying got. I loved primary school, but the bullying overshadowed this. I was called names. I had hot drinks/food thrown at me. I had my school chair lifted from underneath me.

I didn’t need this. With everything else that was happening in my life, I didn’t need this. I needed help. I needed someone. I needed someone to listen. I was fearing for my life and fearing I was going to lose my family members.


I had to become untouchable

I needed to stand up for myself. I needed to be the person I was. When I left school and struggled to find the person I was, I gave my time to others. This is a big reason why this blog is so centred around using my story to help others.

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Helping others helped me

Volunteering saved my life. It gave me a reason to use the bullying and have a voice. The voice you all now read/hear today.

The bullying may have seen me attempt to run away from home, become reliant on my home as an escape (when I was there) and judge the person I was, but I needed to go through it. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I didn’t experience this.

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Volunteering was a way for me to understand this. It was a way for me to be able to turn something bad that happened to me and use it as a guide for others to seek help, to speak up and to embrace the traits and flaws that were used as targets.

Helping others gave me a sense of freedom. I have a voice so open I can be who I am. I’m free of what happened. I’m free of those who decided to torment me and make me feel small.


I stood

Just before I moved to Leicester, I bumped into my bullies.

“Hey John! Wow, haven’t you gotten big!” – Whilst they laughed, I smiled and moved on.

Bullying has no place. Those bullies have no meaning to me. I live the life I want. I’m the person I always wanted to be. All they do is give me motivation to help someone.

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I’ll always remember

I will always remember what happened to me and how I felt. From the names about my teeth pointing out and I was underweight, the fact I was a mummy’s boy (still am and proud) and because I was a popular kid in primary school; those experiences are now influences. They’re no longer dark moments. They’re my light. They’re light for others.

I’m not the same person. I’ve grown up. My voice will continue to shout-out about the experiences. I’ll continuing standing proud to have gotten through it.


Bullying is shit! It’s not a nice feeling.

If you’re being bullied, remind yourself that you are worthy and you can have control. Speak to someone close to you. Write down your feelings. Don’t be on your own.

I defied my bullies and I know you can too!

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39 thoughts on “Defying the bullies

  1. Thanks for sharing! I was also bullied in school for being hairy and because of my teeth. I hated it and I really made me self-conscious growing up. I hated every taunt and it stayed with me for years. I pray that my children never have to deal with it to the extent that I did. I know they will have cruel classmates, but bullying is the worse.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like you spent my whole school life and my first year of college being bullied. Iโ€™ve always been bullied about my weight and that is something I have battled with for a long time making my self confidence so low. I hope when my little girl goes to school that she doesnโ€™t have to go through any kind of bullying. I am finally only just starting to accept myself and my confidence is growing every day. Really inspiring post x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m glad that you were able to move on from being bullied. My own experiences with bullying aren’t pleasant for me. Sometimes, years after leaving school, I’d be on the bus and hear somebody laughing behind me, and imagine that they were laughing at me even though I wasn’t doing anything.

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  4. What a great read! My heart always goes out to those who were traumatized and bullied during their adolescent years. I think there are so many great ways to find peace with what happened in the past and how you were treated and how you overcome and grow from the experience. Volunteering is such an awesome way to give back to others! Love your blog ๐Ÿ™‚ Excited to keep reading more of your posts!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. What an amazing story about overcoming and achieving. I like that volunteering helped you through the rough times. Iโ€™m so glad you have moved past those tough times and onwards to better days. I enjoyed your post!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It’s so sad that you were bullied but you’ve done such an amazing thing as a result. I’m sure you’ve helped so many people, including myself by speaking out. I was bullied for the last year of school and it made me so worries how people would treat me in the future. Great post

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I was bullied at school too, including by kids who were supposedly my friends. Thankfully I moved to a different school at 15 which was better but I still bear scars to this day. Like you though, I think it has made me the strong person I am today. I’m glad you found a way through

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  8. Thanks for sharing your story John. I too have experienced bullying in my first few months of secondary school before I moved schools. I have kept my same personality that bullies disliked, not following the crowd and having a voice. Like you, I will remember those times but I stand and defy bullies! ๐Ÿ˜Š

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  9. Thank you for sharing your story, allowing others to understand what created the individual before us all today. Similar to you, bullying has been a part of my journey too, it’s never pleasant and hard to understand why you’re the one being targeted. Keep on shining and inspiring others.

    Tx.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Throughout your whole story it showed how much self control you had instead of fighting back you never harmed their feelings which shows how kind you are as a person. In Romans 12:17 it says “return evil for evil to no one” and this scripture from the bible describes you well. There is a website called JW.org that has tons of helpful information about a wide range of topics that I know will help you.

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  11. Iโ€™m glad you survived and used the experience to help others. I tried to help my daughter through a Middle School (12-14 yrs old) bullying experience. Itโ€™s hard to know what advice to give. You want to lash out because they are attacking your child yet you want to let them try to handle it. Itโ€™s so damaging what bullying can do to people. Thank you for the inspiring read.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I too was bullied. From grammar school thru high school. It made me feel worthless. Went I got into college, the bullying stopped. I no longer was unpopular. In fact, I did a 180 and became very popular. To this day I am outgoing and friendly. Your story hit home. To all those currently where I used to be. It gets better. Believe me, it gets better

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  13. I’ve also had many experiences, later as a teacher, teaching kids how to remain calm but speak up. I wish you had had someone who understood this, when you were young, and got you into self-defense courses and such, also explaining the dynamics of bullying. Bullies are those who were bullied themselves, and in their fear and anger, turned towards those they saw as future victims. The great thing is, as an adult, those once bullied learned what they didn’t understand as children. All the best to you and yours.

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  14. Thank you for sharing this powerful and honest post. Iโ€™m so sorry you had to deal with bullying but Iโ€™m so glad youโ€™ve overcome their negative influence and have found the strength to help others. Your experience attests to whatโ€™s mentioned at Romaโ€™s 12:21 which says, โ€œDo not let yourself be conquered by the evil, but keep conquering the evil with the good.โ€ Thank you for your strength and in strengthening others to keep conquering evil with good.

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  15. Really did break my heart reading this! Bullying is horrible, just absolutely horrible. I don’t get why it happens, I can remember being really young at school and wondering why it happened and I still do now. I just can’t believe the way people have been brought up. I know a lot of people who were targeted for being really thin. I used to get called names for being really thin too and people thought it was okay. You have an amazing mentality about it all now and I am so glad you write posts like this to help and inspire others. I will be reading more of your posts and..there is nothing wrong with being a mummys boy!

    Like

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