The nerves are kicking in

This morning hit me hard. Checking my calendar to see how far away 2018 is, and it’s only 6 weeks!! It’s ONLY 6 weeks until my year of fundraising begins!!

I cried. I won’t lie. I said to myself when starting this process that I would be honest. I would be honest with you and myself. I don’t want to hide. I want to express my feelings. I want those feelings to help others.

2018 is all about helping. The money raised will help charities to be able to deliver more services. The challenges will help me to tell my story. The results will inspire (hopefully) more people to share their story.

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I’m feeling the pressure though. It’s why I cried. The pressure is building. I know it’s a make or break year for me. I know eyes are looking. I also know, I need to do this for myself. I want to keep releasing the feelings I’ve felt for so long.

Sitting down last night, confirming all 11 charities I’ll be fundraising for (find out on Tuesday – Twitter @ 2pm GMT), got to me. I looked and saw the stories I’d be sharing. Stories, like my swimming for example. 3 lessons in and… (well you have to wait and find out what happened next week).

The stories touched me. They reminded me of moments I thought I forgot. Sending the charities an email letting them know they’ve been chosen for my fundraising plans, was the moment I told myself…THIS IS IT!!!

I’m nervous as hell. I’m scared. I was shaking. I have to do this though. I have to do things in ways I’ve never tried. I have to go out of my comfort zone to inspire more people to exit their comfort zone. I don’t want to be the only unknown. I want to build a movement of the unknown.

I want people to know that when they have an idea, there’s a reason they’ve thought of it. My swimming challenge for example…

1.996km swim. Why 1,996? 1996 was the year I nearly drowned. I want that year to be a memory. Not a year of fear, or a year of near tragedy, but a year with a message. A message that fears are there because we’re the barrier. We’re the barrier stopping us from living the experience.

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An experience is meant to be lived. I have one life. I won’t have loads of opportunities to do this. I won’t have many opportunities to self-fund an entire year of experiences. These experiences are going to come at a price. I’m going to cry. I’m going to want to quit. I’ll also need to reach out at moments to re-motivate myself.

The fear this morning. The worry of what’s ahead. The shivery telling me I have one chance. One chance to inspire a nation. One opportunity to create change in many lives.

My 1.996km swim for Guide Dogs is the next challenge to be announced.

Come Tuesday (as mentioned above), you’ll know all 11 charities I’m fundraising for. By Christmas, all 11 challenges will be confirmed and pages will be live on the blog.

No pressure…

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