My body image worries

I remember the guy I used to be…

I remember how I used to feel…

I remember how much body image played a part in my teens…

 

I’m worried…

I’m worried about going back to who I was. The slim guy I saw on a daily basis in the mirror, disgusted at who I was and very self conscious.

2018 is not only a year of fundraising, but a year of self image. The way I see myself will impact my challenges, and the challenges will impact my body.

I’m 5 stone heavier now than I was in my self-conscious days, and I don’t want to lose it. I don’t want to lose the body I’m so happy with, as I worry I’ll go backwards. I don’t want to hide my body. I don’t want to shy away from the world. I don’t want to put things on hold, as I worry about how I look.

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I want to be confident. I want to wear clothes that make me feel good. I want to feel good inside and out. I want to be confident in everything I do. 

How do I do this though? How do I maintain my weight despite the fact most of my challenges are endurance events?

I have to do what’s best for me and use what I’ve got. I need to stay confident in myself, despite whatever happens. I need to eat. I eat a lot already. I’m a big guy. I like my food. I don’t want to restrict myself. For what? For unhappiness? Food is my friend. My story is also my friend. These challenges will also be my friend. Going backwards isn’t my friend.

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Moving forward, I’m learning about the balance between food and exercise. I’ve studied this. I’m a qualified personal trainer, but you don’t learn this. You don’t learn how to feel good in yourself, as there’s a norm. There’s stereotypes. There’s stereotypes around sport and body image, and it doesn’t help.

I want to feel good in myself, and I won’t stop eating what I enjoy. I want to be happy. Can’t I be happy with a balance? I will be happy with balance.

 

 

 

 

 

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