My body image worries

I remember the guy I used to be…

I remember how I used to feel…

I remember how much body image played a part in my teens…


I’m worried…

I’m worried about going back to who I was. The slim guy I saw on a daily basis in the mirror, disgusted at who I was and very self conscious.

2018 is not only a year of fundraising, but a year of self image. The way I see myself will impact my challenges, and the challenges will impact my body.

I’m 5 stone heavier now than I was in my self-conscious days, and I don’t want to lose it. I don’t want to lose the body I’m so happy with, as I worry I’ll go backwards. I don’t want to hide my body. I don’t want to shy away from the world. I don’t want to put things on hold, as I worry about how I look.


I want to be confident. I want to wear clothes that make me feel good. I want to feel good inside and out. I want to be confident in everything I do. 

How do I do this though? How do I maintain my weight despite the fact most of my challenges are endurance events?

I have to do what’s best for me and use what I’ve got. I need to stay confident in myself, despite whatever happens. I need to eat. I eat a lot already. I’m a big guy. I like my food. I don’t want to restrict myself. For what? For unhappiness? Food is my friend. My story is also my friend. These challenges will also be my friend. Going backwards isn’t my friend.


Moving forward, I’m learning about the balance between food and exercise. I’ve studied this. I’m a qualified personal trainer, but you don’t learn this. You don’t learn how to feel good in yourself, as there’s a norm. There’s stereotypes. There’s stereotypes around sport and body image, and it doesn’t help.

I want to feel good in myself, and I won’t stop eating what I enjoy. I want to be happy. Can’t I be happy with a balance? I will be happy with balance.







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