“I can’t do this! I REALLY can’t!!! I’m struggling! I can’t carry on! Life is too much!!”
Life got the best of me at a young age, and the thought to end my life was on my mind. I didn’t want to be here. I thought by not being here, things would be easier; for me and everyone else. I didn’t want to feel a burden. I didn’t want to feel incomplete.
The more and more things that happened, the more I was losing who I was. I was losing the faith to fight and just accept life for what it was.
I did accept that this was meant to be…
I accepted life for what it was, as it was easier. It was easier to not fight, as I was broken. I was a broken record with no hope. I thought so badly of myself, that I kept it to myself. I kept what I felt to myself as I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t really a talker. I wasn’t really an expressionist. I was more of an actor.
I acted my life like a soap opera. I would act as if life wasn’t going to get any better, but it did. By accepting what was going on, in a super slow speed, I started to be on the right path. The right path doesn’t always appear straight away, but it does. It does if you want it to. I wanted to find who this John Sennett was, and that’s when the journey truly began.
Despite feeling broken, I started to put the pieces of the jigsaw back together. I started to find piece after piece with every step and action I took, and there he was…
John Sennett was there. He always was. I just didn’t accept it. I didn’t accept the emotional trait. I didn’t accept the motivator within. I didn’t accept the story-teller.
This is what ‘The story of John Sennett’ is all about. This blog is here to tell my story, and to thought provoke. I share these types of blogs, as they’re relatable. 1 person, 100 people, 1,000 people… a story helps many. A story needs to be experienced before it’s told. A story needs to be felt for others to feel what you feel/felt. People relate to your story, when they feel part of the journey.
The journey will always be up and down. Even when times are great, I know there’ll be another moment of sadness. I know there’ll be a moment where I have to find my inner strength once again to see the sun shining.
I got here, as I learned to use my feelings. I got here, as I learned to accept what I felt. I got here, as I wanted more than just feeling the experience. I learned to express.
Finding John Sennett was about expressing my feelings. I had to go through the dark times to get here. I had to break myself into smaller pieces to build a bigger jigsaw. The jigsaw is beautiful. The jigsaw is a stunning image of life.
Life is being lived. Life is being cherished. Life is being expressed.